I was taught to pick three or four qualities that I wanted to amplify in my life and in relation to others. I happened to pick happiness, peacefulness and freedom. So the traditional way of phrasing this in meditation is, “May I (you, they) be happy.” “May I (you, they) be peaceful.” And “May I (you, they) be free.”

But I took this to mean that I want conditions to be right so that I (you, they) would be happy, peaceful and free. And it is true that humanity generally operates under the laws of cause and effect, such that if pleasant, calm and liberating features are happening in our environment we tend to experience more happiness, peace and freedom.

But wishing for conditions in this way is a very weak and ineffective way of applying our minds. I have changed how I do loving-kindness meditation.

I now actually say, “May I remember to create happiness.” “May I remember to create peacefulness.” “May I remember to create freedom.” Can you see the immense difference?

We have been programmed all our life to believe that happiness (to take one of these three) is a result of happy situations and experiences – and some of our personal experience supports this. But the greater truth is that in any (and all) moments we can just flat out choose to be happy.

Again we have been programmed to believe this self-generated happiness is not, ‘real happiness.’ That it is ‘fake happiness.” But that is just part of the messaging of programming us to believe material things and external experiences are the key to happiness.

The sages of old are in agreement that true happiness comes from inside. And it is so strong that external conditions are too weak to defeat it. When I (you, we) radiate this quality of happiness, it becomes a force in the world that really does cause those around you to experience more happiness. And maybe they will intuit that they too can simply choose to generate this quality of happiness.

In this same way I (and you and we) can generate peacefulness and freedom. A special word about generating freedom. There are degrees of freedom that continue on and on and go right off the charts of our imagination. But where the “rubber hits the road” in regard to generating freedom is to take a very close look at what wants and desires we are holding on to in this moment. Then finding a way to hold on to them more loosely or to let them go entirely.

We just returned from a week in Malaysia, a Muslim country. We’ve spent time in several Muslim countries: Egypt, Morocco, Turkey, Jordan. And we’ll be in Qatar in a few hours.

There is so much harm being done in the world by American political demonizing of Muslims. The harm shows up in Americans as unreasonable fear and suspicion and prejudice. To a lesser but still significant extent there is some of this same prejudice against Muslims expressed in many European countries. The harm also shows up in the consciousness of Muslims who mostly do not understand this American centered hatred toward them, but nevertheless feel the pain of that negative bias.

We are finding that we have to fight through these biases to reach out in kindness to Muslims, to start conversations, to ask questions, to learn customs and beliefs. But after making the effort we find the rewards of sharing warm hearted experiences with people who we have so much in common with.

Everyone wants to be happy. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to have a peaceful and healthy environment for their families. Everyone wants to learn about and understand the world around them. Everyone wants to live free of fear. Everyone wants to feel secure.

Charlotte is particularly good at engaging with all kinds of people. This is what is at the core of citizen diplomacy. It will take millions and millions of positive, compassionate personal interactions between Muslims and us Europeans and North Americans to undo the damage that is spewing out from the American administration.

It is our hope that all of us use every opportunity to heal connections between people that seem different. We should not let hating and prejudiced people divide us. The people of the world do not have enemies. We are united. Those who support wars, those who support economic slavery, those who try to divide us by race or gender or religion or anything else, those are the ones that need to be removed from power.