I was taught to pick three or four qualities that I wanted to amplify in my life and in relation to others. I happened to pick happiness, peacefulness and freedom. So the traditional way of phrasing this in meditation is, “May I (you, they) be happy.” “May I (you, they) be peaceful.” And “May I (you, they) be free.”

But I took this to mean that I want conditions to be right so that I (you, they) would be happy, peaceful and free. And it is true that humanity generally operates under the laws of cause and effect, such that if pleasant, calm and liberating features are happening in our environment we tend to experience more happiness, peace and freedom.

But wishing for conditions in this way is a very weak and ineffective way of applying our minds. I have changed how I do loving-kindness meditation.

I now actually say, “May I remember to create happiness.” “May I remember to create peacefulness.” “May I remember to create freedom.” Can you see the immense difference?

We have been programmed all our life to believe that happiness (to take one of these three) is a result of happy situations and experiences – and some of our personal experience supports this. But the greater truth is that in any (and all) moments we can just flat out choose to be happy.

Again we have been programmed to believe this self-generated happiness is not, ‘real happiness.’ That it is ‘fake happiness.” But that is just part of the messaging of programming us to believe material things and external experiences are the key to happiness.

The sages of old are in agreement that true happiness comes from inside. And it is so strong that external conditions are too weak to defeat it. When I (you, we) radiate this quality of happiness, it becomes a force in the world that really does cause those around you to experience more happiness. And maybe they will intuit that they too can simply choose to generate this quality of happiness.

In this same way I (and you and we) can generate peacefulness and freedom. A special word about generating freedom. There are degrees of freedom that continue on and on and go right off the charts of our imagination. But where the “rubber hits the road” in regard to generating freedom is to take a very close look at what wants and desires we are holding on to in this moment. Then finding a way to hold on to them more loosely or to let them go entirely.